I stared at the building, at its magnificent glory. It
stood for the destruction of crime and the construction of peace. And I was
about to help break into it.
I had three
choices: (a) run away, (b) go ahead with the heist, or (c) make sure the heist
goes awry. My mind automatically chose option (b).
I’ll explain. In
a deep cover operation like this, you really can’t risk aborting the mission
when lives might be on the line. Alice was fading fast and the quickest way to
get to her was to join up with these guys. If there was a delay, say, if I
chose option (c), then their plan would be stalled, and Alice would most likely
have completely faded by then.
Grim as this
was, I had to carry on and steal the Nether Key.
Have we
discussed the Nether Key? Maybe not. I’ll tell you later.
Anyway, Grumpy
signaled for me to come with him and Dopey, and we headed around the
perfectly-manicured lawns to a clump of bushes around back of the building,
where we found another dwarf with a mask over his face crouching there.
“About time you
showed up!” he growled. “And who’s Big Bad ‘n Bushy over there?”
I snarled at
him. “I’m with the Three. They want me on the mission.”
“What?” the
dwarf snapped. “We’ve already got plenty of cover in these bushes without you. Speaking of which, get in
here before we get spotted!”
“Hey, cut the
attitude, Happy,” Grumpy said, and I realized the identity of this snarky
personage. “I’m in charge here, and I’m telling you—he’s with us. The Three
sent him. You know how it is. They’re giving us that big honking paycheck.”
“Whatever,”
Happy spat. “Come on. And here’s an extra earpiece for our guest.” He reached
into one of the bushes and pulled out a slimy green worm that wriggled between
his stubby fingers. I instantly recognized the specimen as being a Terravermis limus, more commonly known
as a “seashell slug” and having very interesting properties. If split in half,
each half would grow into a full slug, psychically connected. A practical use
of this property is to insert the slug into one’s nose, where it will slither
up and coil around the brain. Thus, if there are more of these slugs elsewhere
in other people’s brains, then one can transmit thoughts to the others via the
psychic connection between the seashell slugs. It sounds disgusting. It is.
I grimaced under
my mask and took the slug. I lifted up my mask and slid it carefully into my
nostril. I felt horrible, like I was about to sneeze, and the slug slithered up
my nostril. I started to gag and felt it tickling the inside of my head, and
then I snorted and my jaw hung slack.
“Oh, no,” Happy
hissed. “He’s gonna sneeze!”
Never sneeze
with a seashell slug half-coiled around your brain. I, luckily, managed to
swallow down the impending storm and seized up as the tickling in my brain
continued.
Then it all
stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief and suddenly heard all six dwarves’
thought-chatter.
Donuts, said one of them. Bread and donuts. I thought I recognized
Bashful.
This is Dopey, setting up the breach spells with
Doc and Sneezy. The operation was going down already. They were going to
steal the Nether Key right now, and I was going to sit by listening into their
thoughts.
I needed to get
a splice of my worm to a Peacelock detective. If the dwarves pulled off another
heist, they’d be able to listen into their thoughts and capture them. I just
hoped they reused their worms.
We hunkered down
in the bushes as quietly as we could manage. Dopey sent another message. Breaching the wall in three, two...
Then I heard it. A horrible wailing shriek, emanating from the Magical Artifacts Impound.
The deadly turkeys were on the prowl.
