Cat Monologue 2 - Unaware of My Impending Doom...

Unaware of my impending doom, I decided to eat the tuna. Woe to me! For I have taken part in the worst act of my entire nine lives, and have exposed myself to food poisoning. Ugh.

I haven't been working on my manifesto, because I've had such a bad stomachache that I can't even play with Mr. Annoying Fish Toy, for crying out loud. I am a miserable wreck. When I look in the mirror, my fur is green, my tongue is green, my eyes are green. I cannot stomach food of any kind: not kibble, not tuna (oh no! I've taken a vow never to touch any more of that stuff), not...wait, what's that smell?

Cat Monologue 1 - In the Way of Things...

In the way of things, I guess I cannot complain for what happened. It was only a matter of time until Stupidface managed to get past the fence and crash my writing capabilities. But honestly, can't a dog just lie down and go to sleep? Now I have to write on this infuriating device they call a "computer" instead of my ergonomic typewriter. I was in the middle of my greatest masterpiece, my manifesto, when that idiotic pug smashed into my office and ripped everything to shreds! Ooh, what's this? A delete button! I never had one of those on my typewriter...

Anyway, I've had to start my extremely epic masterpiece all over again, and no longer do I have a hard copy continually on hand...at least until I can figure out this "printer." I mean, honestly! Using two devices to do what the typewriter by itself can accomplish? That sounds like a waste of resources to me.